New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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