By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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