dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
