This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize