i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
