I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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