no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
