he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
