idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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