Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
