we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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