so explain again why im purple
no
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize