in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
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I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
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I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
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