why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
