She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
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I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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