what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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