I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
