forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We just shotgunned beers for America
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
