Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
We need to rekindle our bromance
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
