So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
