Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
it's great music for shaving your balls
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize