She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
my being single is dangerous.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
