Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
