ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Blood and glitter go together right?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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