i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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