I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
