dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
