Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
