We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
