Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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