well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize