So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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