So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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