i think my mom watched the whole time
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Do vagina's smell?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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