I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize