So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
