girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
