And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
