Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I'm always down for nudity.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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