Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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