so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
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