He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
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