pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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