did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
