Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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