He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
