Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize