Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
