is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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