the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize