I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
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