So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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