I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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