In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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