I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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