booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We left an ass print on the piano.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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