And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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