he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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