So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
