then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
