watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
