My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
