i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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