She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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