chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
