Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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